{"id":76,"date":"2023-08-21T13:46:39","date_gmt":"2023-08-21T13:46:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mollekuqja.coreup.co\/?p=76"},"modified":"2024-10-02T14:25:35","modified_gmt":"2024-10-02T14:25:35","slug":"diskriminim-dhe-tradite-patriarkale-cka-shtyn-grate-te-ndryshojne-mbiemrin-pas-martese","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mollekuqja.coreup.co\/en\/diskriminim-dhe-tradite-patriarkale-cka-shtyn-grate-te-ndryshojne-mbiemrin-pas-martese\/","title":{"rendered":"Diskriminim dhe tradit\u00eb patriarkale, \u00e7ka shtyn grat\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb mbiemrin pas martese?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cMezi pres t\u00eb ta vjedh mbiemrin\u201d, kishte shkruar n\u00eb rrjetet e saj sociale nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb e cila ishte n\u00eb prag t\u00eb martes\u00ebs. Duket shum\u00eb romantike n\u00eb shikim t\u00eb par\u00eb, por shum\u00eb seksiste kur e analizon origjin\u00ebn e k\u00ebsaj tradite t\u00eb nd\u00ebrrimit t\u00eb mbiemrit pas martes\u00ebs. Ka shum\u00eb arsye t\u00eb logjikshme dhe t\u00eb palogjikshme p\u00ebr at\u00eb se si ka mbijetuar kaq gjat\u00eb ky \u201cfenomen\u201d dhe p\u00ebrse vazhdon t\u00eb praktikohet sot e k\u00ebsaj dite, jo vet\u00ebm n\u00eb Ballkan, por n\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb bot\u00ebn.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb Shtetet e Bashkuara t\u00eb Amerik\u00ebs, sipas nj\u00eb\u00a0analize<\/a>\u00a0t\u00eb \u201cThe New York Times\u201d, rreth 70% e grave e marrin mbiemrin e bashk\u00ebshortit pas martese. Nga ana tjet\u00ebr, n\u00eb nj\u00eb\u00a0hulumtim<\/a>\u00a0i vitit 2018, tregon se vet\u00ebm 3% e burrave n\u00eb ShBA e kan\u00eb nd\u00ebrruar mbiemrin pas martese. N\u00eb Britanin\u00eb e Madhe, sipas nj\u00eb studimi t\u00eb vitit 2016, rreth 90% e grave t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs 18 deri 30 vje\u00e7 vazhdojn\u00eb t\u00eb praktikojn\u00eb nd\u00ebrrimin e mbiemrit pas martese.<\/p>\n

Vet\u00eb shkrimtarja Elif Shafak n\u00eb librin e saj \u201cBlack Milk\u201d flet p\u00ebr ndryshimin e mbiemrit dhe tradit\u00ebn e trash\u00ebgimit t\u00eb mbiemrave t\u00eb burrave n\u00eb familje. Ajo sqaron se mbiemri i saj p\u00ebr t\u00eb nuk ka pasur asnj\u00eb kuptim, p\u00ebr shkak edhe t\u00eb mos krijimit t\u00eb ndonj\u00eb raporti me babain e saj, andaj n\u00eb koh\u00ebn kur ka filluar t\u00eb shkruaj\u00eb, Elif ka vendosur t\u00eb nd\u00ebrroj\u00eb mbiemrin duke vendosur p\u00ebr mbiem\u00ebr emrin e n\u00ebn\u00ebs s\u00eb saj, Shafak, em\u00ebr ky me t\u00eb cilin edhe e njeh bota.<\/p>\n

A e k\u00ebrkon ligji ndryshimin e mbiemrit?<\/em><\/h5>\n

P\u00ebr institucionet n\u00eb Maqedoni, nd\u00ebrrimi i mbiemrit \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201c\u00e7\u00ebshtje private\u201d. T\u00eb dh\u00ebnat e Ministris\u00eb s\u00eb Pun\u00ebve t\u00eb Brendshme t\u00eb Maqedonis\u00eb s\u00eb Veriut tregojn\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00eb vitin 2019 gjithsej 3209 persona e kan\u00eb nd\u00ebrruar emrin, 22266 n\u00eb vitin 2020, dhe 3276 n\u00eb vitin 2021. P\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar gjinin\u00eb e k\u00ebtyre personave, n\u00ebse t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebt kan\u00eb mbajtur dy mbiemra ose jo, MPB-ja orienton te Drejtoria p\u00ebr Udh\u00ebheqjen e Librave Am\u00eb. T\u00eb pyetur n\u00eb shkurt t\u00eb vitit 2022 p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje, nga drejtoria thon\u00eb se ata nuk mbajn\u00eb t\u00eb dh\u00ebna t\u00eb tilla se \u201ckush \u00e7far\u00eb mbiemri mban\u201d dhe se kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje private e vet\u00eb pal\u00ebve.<\/p>\n

\u201cSipas Ligjit p\u00ebr evidentimin n\u00eb librat e gjendjes civile, UVMK-ja dhe n\u00ebpun\u00ebsit e gjendjes civile realizojn\u00eb martesat, por administrata nuk mban evidenc\u00eb se kush \u00e7far\u00eb mbiemri mban. E gjitha \u00ebsht\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje personale e secil\u00ebs pal\u00eb dhe nuk mbahen t\u00eb dh\u00ebna t\u00eb tilla\u201d, thon\u00eb nga Drejtoria p\u00ebr Udh\u00ebheqjen e Librave Am\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Sipas nenit 5 t\u00eb\u00a0Ligjit p\u00ebr Emrin Personal<\/a>\u00a0n\u00eb Maqedonin\u00eb e Veriut qytetari ka t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshoj\u00eb emrin personal, pra vet\u00ebm emrin ose mbiemrin, n\u00ebse nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb lidhje martesore. Nga ana tjet\u00ebr, n\u00eb\u00a0Ligjin p\u00ebr Familjen<\/a>\u00a0(neni 31) \u00ebsht\u00eb parashikuar mund\u00ebsia q\u00eb bash\u00ebshort\u00ebt t\u00eb mund t\u00eb zgjedhin nj\u00ebr\u00ebn nga opsionet n\u00eb vijim:<\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0t\u00eb marrin p\u00ebr mbiem\u00ebr mbiemrin e nj\u00ebrit ose bashk\u00ebshortit tjet\u00ebr;<\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0secili t\u00eb mbaj\u00eb mbiemrin e vet;<\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0secili prej tyre mbiemrit t\u00eb vet t\u2019ia shtoj\u00eb mbiemrin e bashk\u00ebshortit tjet\u00ebr dhe<\/p>\n

\u00b7\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0nj\u00ebri bashk\u00ebshort t\u00eb marr\u00eb mbiemrin e bashk\u00ebshortit tjet\u00ebr dhe atij t\u2019ia shtoj\u00eb mbiemrin e vet<\/p>\n

N\u00eb praktik\u00eb, n\u00eb Maqedonin\u00eb e Veriut, m\u00eb s\u00eb shpeshti gruaja e merr mbiemrin e burrit ose mbiemrit t\u00eb vet ia shton mbiemrin e burrit. T\u00eb rralla jan\u00eb rastet kur burri merr mbiemrin e gruas, ose mbiemrit t\u00eb vet ia shton mbiemrin e gruas. N\u00eb nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb vende si Franca, Italia apo Holanda, e kan\u00eb t\u00eb rregulluar edhe me ligj dhe nuk lejojn\u00eb grat\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb mbiemrin. N\u00eb Japoni situata \u00ebsht\u00eb mjaft ndryshe: martesa pranohet vet\u00ebm n\u00ebse \u00e7ifti mban t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin mbiem\u00ebr, ku n\u00eb 96% t\u00eb rasteve zgjidhet mbiemri i burrit.<\/p>\n

M\u00eb ka ndodhur t\u00eb jem prezent n\u00eb martesa, ku ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb nga vet\u00eb n\u00ebpun\u00ebsi nusja shihet shtremb\u00ebr sepse thot\u00eb q\u00eb do mbaj\u00eb mbiemrin e vet dhe nuk do e marr\u00eb at\u00eb t\u00eb burrit. Rr\u00ebnj\u00ebt e patriarkatit jan\u00eb mjaft t\u00eb thella. Nga ana tjet\u00ebr, nd\u00ebr arsyet m\u00eb t\u00eb shpeshta q\u00eb d\u00ebgjoj kur pyes se p\u00ebrse e kan\u00eb nd\u00ebrruar vajzat mbiemrin, \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201csepse nuk dua t\u00eb ken\u00eb problem f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e mi\u201d. Sipas Ligjit p\u00ebr Emrin Personal, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt mund t\u00eb mbajn\u00eb nj\u00ebrin nga mbiemrat e cilitdo prind, t\u00eb dy mbiemrat nj\u00ebher\u00ebsh, ose prind\u00ebrit t\u00eb zgjedhin nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr mbiem\u00ebr p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre. Arsyetimi q\u00eb do t\u00eb ken\u00eb probleme me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt n\u00ebse nuk mbajn\u00eb mbiemrin e nj\u00ebjt\u00eb, bie n\u00eb uj\u00eb.<\/p>\n

P\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ata q\u00eb shpesh fshihen pas fes\u00eb, kur \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb pyetje ndryshimi i mbiemrit: n\u00eb bot\u00ebn islame \u00ebsht\u00eb zakon q\u00eb nj\u00eb grua t\u00eb mbaj\u00eb mbiemrin e saj pas martes\u00ebs. Mysliman\u00ebt mbajn\u00eb mbiemrin e tyre n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb t’i b\u00ebjn\u00eb homazhe dhe t\u00eb ruajn\u00eb rr\u00ebnj\u00ebt e tyre familjare, edhe pas martes\u00ebs.<\/p>\n

A \u00ebsht\u00eb nd\u00ebrrimi i mbiemrit ndryshim identiteti?<\/em><\/h5>\n

Tradita e nd\u00ebrrimit t\u00eb mbiemrit pas martes\u00ebs daton nga koha kur grat\u00eb ishin pron\u00eb e burrave, merreshin e jepeshin, shiteshin nga vet\u00eb prind\u00ebrit, si objekte apo mall tregtar, nuk kishin t\u00eb drejt\u00eb prone, as t\u00eb drejt\u00eb vote. Sipas\u00a0Dr Sophie Coulombeau<\/a>, traditat e importuara n\u00eb Britani nga francez\u00ebt rreth koh\u00ebs s\u00eb Pushtimit Norman n\u00eb shekullin e kat\u00ebrmb\u00ebdhjet\u00eb, p\u00ebrcaktonin se grat\u00eb e martuara nuk kishin fare mbiem\u00ebr, pasi norman\u00ebt kishin sjell\u00eb me vete edhe parimin ligjor q\u00eb, pas martes\u00ebs, gruaja b\u00ebhej pron\u00eb e burrit t\u00eb saj. Sipas fjal\u00ebve t\u00eb nj\u00eb gjykate n\u00eb vitin 1340, “kur nj\u00eb grua merrte nj\u00eb burr\u00eb, ajo humbte \u00e7do mbiem\u00ebr p\u00ebrve\u00e7 “grua e”\u201d.<\/p>\n

Edhe pse nuk mund t\u00eb themi q\u00eb fenomene t\u00eb tilla nuk jan\u00eb ende prezente n\u00eb rrethin ton\u00eb. N\u00eb rajone t\u00eb caktuara t\u00eb Ballkanit, ashtu si n\u00eb fshatin Sllatin\u00eb t\u00eb Tetov\u00ebs n\u00eb Maqedonin\u00eb e Veriut, ku un\u00eb jam rritur, grat\u00eb p\u00ebrve\u00e7 q\u00eb marrin mbiemrin e burrit, njihen dhe thirren n\u00eb shoq\u00ebri me emrin e burrit, duke i shtuar emrit t\u00eb tij prapashtes\u00ebn \u201cica\u201d. P\u00ebr shembull, n\u00ebse burri quhet Jusuf, gruaja e tij njihet me emrin \u201cJusufica\u201d. Ndodh madje q\u00eb vet\u00eb rrethi n\u00eb t\u00eb cilin jetojn\u00eb, t\u00eb mos kuptojn\u00eb kurr\u00eb emrin e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb t\u00eb gruas. Dhe kur nuk thirren me emrat e burrave t\u00eb tyre, thirren me p\u00ebremra, ashtu si\u00e7 e p\u00ebrshkruan edhe Nurie Emrullai n\u00eb romanin e saj \u201cDuhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb dashuri\u201d:\u00a0Kur d\u00ebshiron burri ta th\u00ebrras\u00eb gruan e tij i thot\u00eb Ajo ose Ej…dhe n\u00eb fakt, shum\u00eb rrall\u00eb ka nevoj\u00eb q\u00eb ta th\u00ebrras\u00eb at\u00eb, sepse ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00ebzet e kat\u00ebr or\u00eb p\u00ebrreth tij, n\u00eb ndjekje t\u00eb secilit hap.<\/em><\/p>\n

Madje, n\u00eb rajonin e K\u00ebr\u00e7ov\u00ebs dhe n\u00eb disa rajone t\u00eb tjera n\u00eb Maqedoni dhe rrethin\u00eb, ku vdekjet e njer\u00ebzve njoftohen n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet nj\u00eb thirrjeje t\u00eb caktuar n\u00eb minaret e xhamive, grat\u00eb nuk thirren kurr\u00eb me em\u00ebr. Identitetit t\u00eb k\u00ebtyre grave, njoftuesi i lajmit i drejtohet me: \u201cgruaja e filanit\u201d, \u201cn\u00ebna e filanit (vet\u00ebm emrat e djemve, n\u00ebse ka)\u201d. N\u00eb raste kur gruaja nuk ka djal\u00eb, ose nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e martuar, vdekja e saj njoftohet me emrin e ndonj\u00eb personi m\u00eb t\u00eb larg\u00ebt n\u00eb familje. Gjithsesi, p\u00ebrmbledhja e t\u00eb gjith\u00eb k\u00ebtyre veprimeve tregon q\u00eb identiteti i grave \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201c\u00e7\u00ebshtje problematike\u201d n\u00eb Ballkan. Andaj, nd\u00ebrrimi i mbiemrit pas martes\u00ebs, ose mbajtja e t\u00eb dy mbiemrave, vjen si nga \u201cromantizimi\u201d i k\u00ebsaj \u00e7\u00ebshtje, duke i b\u00ebr\u00eb grat\u00eb t\u00eb mendojn\u00eb se k\u00ebshtu jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrkushtuara n\u00eb martes\u00eb, ashtu edhe nga statusi shoq\u00ebror q\u00eb fitojn\u00eb kur dikush kupton q\u00eb zonjat n\u00eb fjal\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb martuara. Sepse, martesa vazhdon t\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00ebsi mat\u00ebse e nderit dhe moralit t\u00eb grave, si dhe arritja m\u00eb e madhe n\u00eb jet\u00eb si p\u00ebr to, ashtu edhe p\u00ebr familjet e tyre. Normalisht, marrja e nj\u00eb mbiemri t\u00eb ri vjen edhe nga presioni shoq\u00ebror, dhe ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb edhe nga detyrimi q\u00eb bashk\u00ebshort\u00ebt ua imponojn\u00eb grave.<\/p>\n

Edhe pse sot jetojm\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb shekull ku lufta p\u00ebr barazi gjinore ka avancuar, dhe vet\u00ebdija p\u00ebr k\u00ebto \u00e7\u00ebshtje shkon duke u ngritur, duhet t\u00eb kuptojm\u00eb q\u00eb secili prej nesh mban p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi p\u00ebr ushqyerjen e traditave diskriminuese t\u00eb patriarkatit. Nd\u00ebrrimi i mbiemrit nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb aspak \u00e7\u00ebshtje romantike, \u00ebsht\u00eb nd\u00ebrrim identeti.<\/p>\n

Ky artikull \u00ebsht\u00eb shkruar p\u00ebr Liberal Forum Magazine, revist\u00eb onlajn e cila publikohet nga Liberal Alternative Institute.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cMezi pres t\u00eb ta vjedh mbiemrin\u201d, kishte shkruar n\u00eb rrjetet e saj sociale nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb e cila ishte n\u00eb prag t\u00eb martes\u00ebs. Duket shum\u00eb romantike n\u00eb shikim t\u00eb par\u00eb, por shum\u00eb seksiste kur e analizon origjin\u00ebn e k\u00ebsaj tradite t\u00eb nd\u00ebrrimit t\u00eb mbiemrit pas martes\u00ebs. Ka shum\u00eb arsye t\u00eb logjikshme dhe t\u00eb palogjikshme p\u00ebr at\u00eb […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":77,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[36,37,38],"class_list":["post-76","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feministing","tag-barazia-gjinore","tag-diskriminim","tag-feministing"],"yoast_head":"\nDiskriminim dhe tradit\u00eb patriarkale, \u00e7ka shtyn grat\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb mbiemrin pas martese? - Moll\u00ebkuqja<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mollekuqja.coreup.co\/en\/diskriminim-dhe-tradite-patriarkale-cka-shtyn-grate-te-ndryshojne-mbiemrin-pas-martese\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Diskriminim dhe tradit\u00eb patriarkale, \u00e7ka shtyn grat\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb mbiemrin pas martese? - Moll\u00ebkuqja\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cMezi pres t\u00eb ta vjedh mbiemrin\u201d, kishte shkruar n\u00eb rrjetet e saj sociale nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb e cila ishte n\u00eb prag t\u00eb martes\u00ebs. 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